


Too Hot To Be A Real Cop

by acid_and_oil (orphan_account)



Category: DCU, Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Capes, Creampie, Face-Sitting, Felching, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Police Officer Dick Grayson, Sloppy Seconds, most of the explicit content is Jay/Roy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 00:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12923190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/acid_and_oil
Summary: Jason stumbled over to answer the door. He looked at the muscular, golden-skinned police officer, and then back at his roommate. "You got me a stripper?""Yep," Roy said, smiling, "I got you a stripper." Roy did not, in fact, get Jason a stripper. He wasn't about to tell him that.





	1. Chapter 1

Jason never liked his birthday. 

Growing up, his mother cared more for the needle than she did for him, and his father was too busy dodging parole and running from the people he screwed over to give a shit about the day.

After they both bit it, Jason was on the streets in between the occasional stint in a group home or foster care. Turns out that the negligent scam artists looking to make a government buck didn’t much care what day he was squeezed out onto this earth, either. He and Roy had met through the system, both orphans, and here they were now. Scraping by together doing under-the-table odd jobs. Best friends, roommates. Occasional fuck-buddies.

 

Roy had bought him a bottle of tequila. Roy didn’t drink, he was trying to stay clean, but insisted that Jason should. It was his 21st birthday, after all. What else should a dutiful best friend do? And so fast forward to 10 o’ clock at night, and it brings us to Jason, drunk and punching the wall of their crappy apartment while a sober Roy just lounges on the couch, blasting old school metal and watching.

*knock-knock*

“Door.” Roy pointed out, in mock helpfulness. He made no move to get up what so ever. 

Jason lowered his fist, rubbing his knuckles with a groan. “You’re gonna make me get that? Really? On my birthday?” 

Well, why shouldn’t he? Roy wasn’t the one making Swiss cheese out of the drywall. If he’d known Pissy Drunk Jason was going to come out to play tonight, he would have saved his $24.97. So much for being a dutiful bro.

Jason sighed dramatically and stumbled over to answer the door.

Well, shit. The man standing in the door frame had to be about Roy’s age, so a little older than Jason. He had piercing blue eyes, framed by thick lashes and strong dark brows. His skin was gold-kissed and glowing, although that may have been due to the dingy light given off by the bare light bulb that hung above his head. A head that was capped with the blue and black hat of a police officer. Well, shit.

“Daaaaaamn,” Jason’s word’s echoed Roy’s thoughts. Boy in blue was hot.

The officer frowned slightly at the expletive, and stepped forward slightly. “We received a call from one of your neighbors. There has been a noise complaint.”

Jason staggered back a bit, visibly drunk. Roy was thankful that at least it was on Jason’s 21rst. If this was last week, his boy would’ve been in trouble. Jason placed a hand on the officer chest, to steady himself. “Who the fuck calls the cops around here?” It was true, people around here knew better than that. Roy would bet anything it was Mrs. Lorenz from 3B, that homophobic busybody. 

The cop look almost amused. He caught Jason and helped him up. Roy went over to his cd player and turned the Megadeth song down. He just had to see where this was going to go.

“Sure, you get your ginger ass up for the cop. Bastard.” Jason shot him a dirty look, which Roy returned with a grin and a middle finger. 

Officer blue-eyes cleared his throat. “Excuse me, gentlemen. Is everything ok up here?”

“You sneaky, ginger bastard!” A grin spread across Jason’s face. What? “You got me a stripper.”

The officer blushed a little, swallowing. “No, you don’t understand, there’s been a noise complaint…”

Roy chuckled. Man, now this was entertainment. “Yeah, I got you a stripper.”

 

The officer’s face was absolutely crimson now. “No, I…”

“I knew it!” Jason crowed. “You are way too hot to be a real cop.” Jason splayed a hand on the dark blue suited chest. “Now officer, is that a happy, or are you just night-stick to see me?” Roy couldn’t help it, he laughed so hard that he couldn’t breath. The cop shot him a look, and Roy would have been worried if he could only his cheeks would stop hurting from smiling, because man, this was gold.

After Jason vomited on the cop’s shoes and passed out, the officer helped Roy carry him to the couch. After checking Jason’s ID and making Roy promise to keep an eye on him and keep the noise down, the officer left the apartment. Roy could have sworn that the cop wiggled his ass just a little as he walked out. “Daaaamn,” Roy muttered under his breath. 

If anybody had been in that hall, they would have seen Officer Dick Grayson slowly shake his head and bite back a smile from his lips as he walked away.

 

Door bell. Jason groaned. Why was someone ringing the doorbell this early in the morning, and, more importantly, why wasn’t Roy getting it? Jason glanced over at the display on the stove. It was one pm! Fuck, fuck, fuck. He looked down at himself. He had fallen asleep in the clothes he had worn yesterday on the couch.

Whoever was at the door knocked again, and Jason got up cursing to answer it. Sliding the chain on, Jason cracked the door. “What the hell do you want?”

The man standing there was unknown, but not unfamiliar. He was wearing light blue jeans and a white shirt with a sweater vest. His hair was dark and long, and those eyes… oh.

“Fuck my life.”

The man held out his hands. “Relax, Jason, was it? I’m not on duty, I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

His head and knuckles still kind of hurt, and this was really unusual, but heck if he was going to say no to that pretty white smile.

 

Some small talk and heated glances later, and everything had led to this. “So, any particular reason why you thought I was a stripper?”

There were two ways Jason could play this. One would be denial. He could laugh it off, blame the booze and his idiot best friend. Let Officer Bedroom Eyes over here leave as a good officer of the law and public safety, checking in to make sure this random citizen hadn’t died.

The guy had come this far, and Jason knew flirting when he saw it. He picked option two.

“You know, you never answered my question about the nightstick, officer…”

“Maybe I just wanted to show you instead.” And fuck, there were those eyes again. Fluttering those lashes should be a felony. “And it’s Officer Grayson. Dick Grayson.”

Officer Dick. “Sure you’re not a stripper?”

Dick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Like I haven’t that one before. Now hurry up and show me your bedroom before I change my mind.” Holy.. this was really happening. Jason swallowed and took the lead, scrambling to clean a few things up before opening the door. 

Dick’s brow furrowed. “One bed? I thought you were just roommates, I’m not trying to-”

Jason cut him off. “You’re not trying to what, be a home wrecking? Trust me, Roy would probably give me a high five if he found out.”  
More than that, actually, but Jason wasn’t about to divulge.  
“ I ain’t saying we never fucked before, but Roy and I aren’t dating, and sure as hell ain’t exclusive.”

That seemed to be enough for Officer Dick,who pressed a kiss against the corner of his mouth. Taking the hint, Jason wrapped one arm around the back of Dick’s shoulders and let the other hand sink into that soft black hair. He deepened the kiss, hot and wet. Tongue probing, lips crushing. Hands heated, and searching. Not once breaking the kiss, Jason guided Dick, pushing his body with his mouth. Dick let out a soft grunt when his back hit the wall. Jason slid a hand under Dick’s shirt, causing the older man to jump a little, and then groan. Jason let the pads of his fingers slide over the sculpted plane of the cop’s lower abdomen, groaning in amazement at the muscles he found there. 

“Yeah, that thing needs to come off.” Jason watched those slender fingers as Officer Dick pulled off that awful sweater vest and threw it on the ground. Jason placed a wet kiss on Dick’s exposed collarbone, before moving down to mouth the muscles of his chest through the thin fabric of his white shirt. Half kneeling, he pulled up the bottom of the tee to resume work on his bare skin.

“Jesus, fuck man.”

“What?” The way that Dick looked down at him,through quizzical darkened eyes and mussed-up hair would have been comical if it wasn’t so damn hot. 

“Nothing, just.. you are really fit. Like ridiculously cut for a guy your size.”

Dick laughed. “I’m an acrobat, too.”

“Fuuuuck.” That was hot. Like seriously how did a man like Officer I’m-a-acrobat-too Dick Grayson exist, and how the hell did he end up in Jason’s bedroom? “Are you absolutely sure you’re not a stripper?” 

 

Dick flashed that model smile. “Looking for a show?”

And heck, he may not have been an actual stripper, but the way his body moved, shimmying out of those pants and shirt, he really could be.

“Okay Officer Beautiful, this is how it’s going to go down. First I’m going lick every inch of that glorious not-stripper body.”

“And then?”

“And then I’m going to ride you like there is no tomorrow.”


	2. Chapter 2

Roy could tell something was off. When he came home, the chain was off of the door. Must have been some hangover for his boy to still be out cold after 2. Roy couldn’t help but chuckling thinking about last night again. 

Jason thought that a real cop was a stripper.  
There was no way he was going to let him live that one down. 

A whimper filtered in from the bedroom. Roy paused. The couch was empty, blanket half on the floor. There was half a pot of coffee still on ‘warm’. He did not envy the hell of a hangover that Jason must have. Roy poured a mug for himself before switching it off. There was a sound from the bedroom, a soft thump. Roy sat at the tiny kitchen table, frowning at the two mugs there. There were more thumps now, getting closer and closer together. A breathy moan. The two mugs..

That absolute minx.

Roy grinned, and pulled out his phone. He sent Jason a text. The noises only paused briefly when Roy heard the text tone sound from the other room. The text tone that was programmed especially for Roy’s name. He heard Jason’s muffled “I’ll get it later” before the rhythmic thumping and panting resumed. 

From the sounds of it, his roommate was having a good birthday after all, even if it was a day late. He wondered who it was, and what equipment they were packing. He hoped it was a man. This wouldn’t be the first time he listened in on that, and had told Jason just how much he had enjoyed that.

Jason moaned lewdly. It was loud, it was deliberate, and Roy knew it was for his benefit. He was bragging, letting him know that he was getting laid, possibly even trying to turn him on.

Jason knew how much he liked listening to his sounds. Jason had one heck of a mouth, in more ways than one.

 

Yeah, Jason knew exactly what he was doing, Roy thought as he unzipped his pants. He grabbed a roll of paper towels and settled down on the couch. God bless these thin walls.

Roy’s breath caught in his throat, because the strangled cry of Jason’s name was almost certainly not made by a member of the fairer sex. 

“You like that, Officer?”

Officer? That fucking minx. Because of course Jay could seduce a man by puking on his shoes. He bucked up into his own hand, hissing through his teeth, because now he had a face. Now Roy’s head was filled with images, of dark hair and bronzed skin, of Jason impaling himself on that hot cop’s cock, bouncing up and down, using him, making sure he felt good. 

“Yes! Fuck, fill me up, Officer. Fill me with your cum.” And fuck, but that was a mental image and a half, wasn’t it? Roy’s been around that block before, knew how tight and hot Jason was, knew how hard it was to last. He knew what Jason’s face looked like right now. Roy knew that Jason would be staring the cop right in those pretty blue eyes as he ground into his lap, wringing every last drop from him.

Oh how he wished he were in there right now, to mark up that pretty face.

It was with that mental image and the accompanying soundtrack that Roy finished. Thankful for his foresight, he made use of those paper towels and settled on the couch, arm slung over his eyes, to take a nap.

 

Dick wasn’t a stranger to hooking up, but it’s not something he had ever done with a complete stranger. When he messed around outside of a relationship, it was always with a friend or with an ex. Emotional connections were important to him. He had gone to check on Jason with the intention of actually making sure he was OK, with the possibility of asking him out for coffee or something. He was cute, and something about seeing the young guy trying and failing to act tough, and then mistaking him for a stripper was endearing.

But then they were alone, and one thing led to another, and…  
The sex was really hot, he’d admit that. And the two clicked. But Dick wasn’t stupid, he was good cop and had superior observational and deduction skills. Whatever was going on between Jason and his roommate would probably make having a real relationship with the man difficult. 

Dick snorted when he saw the redhead sleeping, jeans still unzipped and surrounded by shiny wads of paper towels. He kicked the couch and gave the stirring man a dirty look before he left. 

 

When Roy walked in, Jason was laying on the bed, wearing nothing except a thin sheet pulled to waist and a smile.

“Officer, huh?”

“Yep. He’s an acrobat, too.”

“Fuck, that’s hot.” 

“I know, right? I wish you could have seen him.”

Roy got on the bed next to Jason. “Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Dick is so flexible, and strong.”

“His dick is flexible?”

Jason laughed. “Well that too, but his name is Dick. Officer Dick, sounds fake, right? But yeah, you should have seen him Roy. He could pick me up, me. And he did this thing, where he bent over backwards. Have you ever been sucked by someone who was doing a handstand? Because after today, I have.” 

Roy moved closer to Jason. “Mm. Did you suck his dick like that too?” Roy was nuzzling Jason now, pressing kisses to jaw, speaking in his ear.

 

“I did.”

Roy looked at Jason’s lips, licking his own. “Make him come?”

“Twice, but not in my mouth.” Roy groaned at that, and positioned himself so that was on top of Jason, chest-to-chest over the sheet. He began to squeeze Jason’s thigh while kissing down his neck. “ Disappointed you can’t kiss me and have a taste?”

 

Roy stopped and got up after that, and Jason thought he said the wrong thing. But then Roy’s shirt and pants were off, and so was the sheet. Roy was back on the bed, only in briefs, and sliding a hand up Jason’s thigh. “Who says I can’t still have a taste?” 

Jason swore and parted his thighs slightly and stared up at his roommate, equal parts stunned and turned on. Because sure, Jason knew he liked hearing about Jason being fucked by other guys, and Roy’s spoken of this little fantasy before, but to actually have this happening was different. He couldn’t believe that he was actually here in their bed right now, with Roy Harper above him, asking if he could eat a police officer’s come out of his ass. 

 

Roy looked at Jason’s sticky inner thighs and groaned. “Beautiful, Jay. He really got you good, didn’t he?” Jason nodded, and Roy moved down for a closer look. “That cop filled you up real good.” Roy gripped a thigh in each hand, dragging his thumbs through the shiny mess and pulling them open. A thick layer of cream coated his balls, and settled in the crease of his thigh. Roy gingerly lifted the sack and rolled it between his fingers, taking note of how Jason’s cock was rapidly swelling back to life. 

Roy sucked one of the balls into his mouth, and then the other. Jason threw his head back with a pant. “Fuck, Roy.” But he didn’t stop there. Jason’s toes curled as Roy swirled his tongue and used his lips, cleaning as much of Jason and Dick’s combined cum off of his balls and thighs as he could. He was planting little kisses too, and moaning, clearly enjoying himself. Next Roy licked around the base of his hard cock, moving his tongue around the dark curls, but ignoring the shaft. “Fuck Roy, just suck me.” He was talking about his dick, but he should have known Roy had other plans.

He flipped Jason over onto his stomach, and took a moment just to study the sight. His ass was obviously leaking, and there some spots of the back tops of his thighs he had missed. Roy ran his thumbs between the messy crack before splitting open Jason’s cheeks. The cold air hitting that sensitive place made Jason jump, which in turn made more come freshly bubble out of his ass. Roy sucked in a breath before diving in. 

“Fuck, Roy!” Jason’s curses and moans were muffled by the pillow, which he bit when he felt the warm mouth cover his hole. He grabbed at the sheets, because suddenly Roy’s tongue was gently lapping, running up and down the space between his cheeks. Every so often, just the tip would poke into his entrance, and Jason would flinch, causing even more mess to run out, which Roy would eagerly catch. 

It wasn’t the first time Roy had eaten Jason’s ass, but never like this. Never while it was freshly fucked, stuffed full with two loads of another man’s cum.

When Roy replaced his tongue with two fingers, Jason had just about enough of that. “On your back, Roy-Toy.”

Jason straddled Roy’s chest for a moment, making sure to smear his drooling ass over his chest before moving back and finally sinking down onto his cock. As he moved, more jizz loosened up and slid down, and Roy could feel it. Warm from Jason’s body, and gooey. He could see it too, mixing with his his pre-cum, trickling down the to the base of his own cock, clinging to red curls in tiny beads. 

“You like that, Roy? You like open my ass is now, how hot I am for you?” Roy just groaned, because he did. He really did. 

“You fuck that cop like this, too?”

“I did. I rode his cock just like this.”

“Is he bigger than me?” and Roy did not know why, but for some reason he found himself hoping that he was, was impossibly turned-on by the idea of his Jason riding that attractive cop, of being torn apart and feeling good, like he deserved.

Jason seemed to misread the situation though, and avoided answering, which Roy took as confirmation, and it spurred him on. “Bet he could do some more freaky acrobat shit too, huh? Think he could suck his own dick?” Roy would freaking pay to see that.

Finally catching on, Jason rode even harder. “ He hit me so deep, filled me up.”

Roy wasn’t going to last much longer. He reached up to stroke Jason. “I’m so close.”

“That’s it, babe. Fill me up. I want to feel both of you inside of me.” 

That was all Roy needed, and Jason knew it. Soon he was cumming, thrashing and sweating and grunting. He hadn’t even finished before Jason was climbing off of  
Him, then turning around so that he was over his face. “Fuuuuck.” Jason sucked Roy’s dick into his mouth to finish up. Roy vacuumed his lips over Jason’s holed, and sucked. Partially sitting up, Jason rode Roy’s face, jacking his own length until he reached his climax.

Jason started to get up to shower, but Roy pulled him down. “Stay. Just for a little bit.” Jason grumbled, and then finally conceded. He was pretty tired, after all. Both of them just lay there, catching breath and resting, before Jason spoke. 

“You know, maybe I can get him to come back sometime when you’re home.”

“Fat chance of that happening,” answered Roy, the look of scorn still fresh in his mind. “But if you get blue boy's perfect ass back over here, you better call me after.”

**Author's Note:**

> does Police Officer Dick Grayson count as a kink? I feel like Police Officer Dick Grayson should definitely count as a kink


End file.
